The End is Not Nigh

Two people gave a combined $1.4 million to a Christian Church because the church told them the apocalypse is coming. To their suprise, the date came and went so now they want their money back.

These people are obvious idiots, but it brings up a number of questions: What did the church say they needed the money for if the apocalypse was coming? Why do they want their money back now; have they lost faith in the promise of the apocalypse? How do such gullible and stupid people get $1.4 million in the first place?

Christians have been promising the apocalypse for over 2,000 years. Jesus’ crucification was the first apocalypse that never came. Oops. That empty promise killed Christianity for 30+ years until Paul figured out how to better market the religion in Europe: no circumcisions + no dietary restrictions = easier life = more believers. Why are Christians still so easily bamboozled by the promise of the apocalypse? Because it’s easy to convince people something is true if they desperately want it to be true?

Dear Christians: the Apocalypse will never come. It’s a made-up story that was used solely to scare people into switching from Judaism to Christianity quickly: “Hurry! Believe today and you’ll be saved! Tomorrow may be too late!!” This tactic is still being used today, obviously.

Think about it: the dinosaurs were here long before us and lasted more than 10,000 times longer than we’ve been here. Christians believe we’re still here only because of our superior morals. Yet dinosaurs had fewer morals than we do — no 10 Commandments for them, they coveted their neighbors belongings, they stole from each other, they killed each other without a second thought, had premarital sex, etc. But our morals are supposed to be the only thing saving us so far. If God didn’t mind the evil ways of the dinosaurs and let them live for more than 150,000,000 years, why would God kill us off after just a few thousand years? Did God change his/her mind or, egads, make a mistake between the dinosaurs and us? And the dinosaurs were killed off without requiring the end of the universe. Why are we special that our end must also be the universe’s end? The dinosaurs never had such crazy ideas. The dinosaurs were right.

Humans will die off just like the dinosaurs did. But the universe will still be chugging along for another 15 billion years, at least. So don’t give your money away to someone telling you it’s coming soon.

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