I wish there was No Country For Bad Movie-Makers

We just saw the Coen Brothers’ latest (and hopefully last) movie _No Country For Old Men_ (no link because I don’t want to be responsible for anyone accidentally adding it to their Netflix queue). This movie somehow won the Academy Award for Best Picture. Were the other nominated movies the only other movies made last year?!

This movie was far far too long, totally predictable and just gore for gore’s sake. And completely pointless. Five minutes into the movie and we witness two gruesome murders. 10 minutes in and we’ve seen the carnage of over a dozen people. The rest of the movie is a cliched hunt for a guy who stole someone’s money from a drug deal gone bad (seriously, it’s _that_ cliched!) and, shocker, lots more violence before it ends with a nonsensical recanting of a dream by Tommy Lee Jones.

The Coen Brothers made the perfect _Fargo_ in 1996, but haven’t made a decent movie before or since. What happened to them in 1996? The only reason the Coen Brothers should continue to make movies is so that they can act out their psychotic fantasies in make-believe so they don’t do it in real life. The _Friday the 13th_ series was more interesting than their drivel.

This movie is mostly just a re-hash of _Fargo_ with less interesting characters, less humor and, again, more blood. Instead of the wood-chipper of _Fargo_, this movie gives us a cattle gun. Instead of the North Dakota/Minnesota accents, we get Texas accents. _Fargo_ gave us long pans of desolate snow, this movie gives us long pans of desolate desert. Instead of Frances McDormand and her dopey sidekick policeman, we get Tommy Lee Jones and his dopey sidekick. If you haven’t seen this movie, skip it and watch _Fargo_ instead and thank me for rescuing two hours of your life.

I love the reviews on Netflix, the movie wonks who fall over themselves to show how intelligent they are:

bq. “It is not about a specific story set in a specific place and time, but about the darkness in man, the descent of society, and how we are helpless to prevent our own downfall…its insight into humanity will ensure its place in the annals of film history”

bq. “The rug is purposely yanked out from under the audience as a demonstration that our actions and beliefs are ultimately futile. Nature has its own plans for each of us, blindsiding us whenever we need a reminder. In the long run, our ability to affect the world around us diminishes, yet nature (and human nature) will continue as it always has.”

bq. “This film is about collateral damage and that unspoken and uncomfortable feeling that is a fearful echo of the physical terror that characterizes this production.”

And then sane people wrote accurate reviews:

bq. “This is another reason to ignore the “Academy Awards” for rewarding this piece of ultra-violent crap.”

bq. “Slow, predictable, and a lousey ending, most of the plot was predictable, they just showed it with a little more gore. cant see why it won an oscar.”

4 thoughts on “I wish there was No Country For Bad Movie-Makers”

  1. The press, friends and relatives hyped this movie, saying it was one of the greatest ever. After missing it in the theaters, and letting it sit for 3 weeks on our shelf next to our BD player, we watched it. Hyper violent to say the least, but by the middle we determined that it was violent for no other reason than to be a violent movie.

    Okay, we get it. He has a high-powered rifle with a silencer. And he has a shotgun with a silencer. Somewhat interesting there. And he gets off on killing, and is smart and deductive. His quarry is as smart as he is, but inexperienced. We were interested with that theme, thinking that would continue to the end. Instead, we find that he kills the good guy anyway without much of a thrill, and the last half of the movie is a complete let-down. Even Woody Harrelson’s character, which gets eliminated after a short time, could have been interesting, if only that part of the story could have continued, or even been explained to the viewer.

    I didn’t read the book, but it appears that while the violent parts of the story were included in the movie, the story was left out because the producers or director determined that no one would have enjoyed any drama or suspense.

    Best Picture? Not for me.

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